Category: Thoughts

The Value of Self-Expression

This blog has brought so much healing to me over the past two years, and I want to deeply thank all of my readers who have gone on this journey with me. Each and every time I approached the blank page, I wanted to make sure my words were dredged

Who Am I? A Look at Identity and Abuse

I never dreamed that I, Vanessa Pottiger, would struggle with my identity. Growing up, I was always incredibly confident. I knew who I was – strong, beautiful, intelligent and full of love to give. Yes, maybe a little over-confident at times, but at my core, I was secure in my

The Process of Healing

The process of healing is never simple. It’s never easy. It’s never quick. A dear friend of mine asked me if I’m still healing. If I still have dreams about my past relationship. If I still have flashbacks. If I still struggle with the memories. The answer was a resounding

Traits of an Abuser: The Role of Empathy

First off, I’d like to apologize for taking so long in getting this blog entry written and posted. The more I research the psychology of abusers and the more stories I hear about experiences with abuse, the more I realize how complex and broad this issue is, and I am

Traits of an Abuser: Understanding Narcissism

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It

Traits of an Abuser: An Explanation

I don’t know about you, but I’m a dreamer. I’m a full-fledged romantic that has a difficult time taking off her rose-colored glasses. I always assume the best in people…even if their actions speak to not so heroic intentions. And this is exactly why I couldn’t see abuse for what

Let’s get intimate.

Over the past month, God has gently led me into a personal desert. He dried up my resources, He took away my crutches and undressed my wounds, so they were open, bleeding and bare. I had to sit before Him as He gave me a choice – would I stumble

Colors of Abuse: Physical and Verbal

As I sit, trying to somber myself to write this last chapter of my Colors of Abuse series, I am unable to stay serious. Instead I am overflowing with joy and gladness of spirit, knowing that God is working out all of this pain to glorify His name and bring

Colors of Abuse: Sexual

I’ve talked a lot about sex on this blog, and it’s been heavy. But these conversations are only the beginning of genuine social reformation, and it’s exciting to see change taking place at such a rapid pace. (If you missed out on my Expectation of Sex series, check it out

Colors of Abuse: Psychological

Our memories at times can be fluid and fickle. We remember some memories from our childhoods like vivid dreams, but often times we can’t remember what movie we watched last Friday night. This potentially flighty nature makes our memories easy prey for the controlling and manipulative.  Psychological abuse can sometimes

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