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Who am I? A look at identity and abuse.

I never dreamed that I, Vanessa Pottiger, would struggle with my identity. 

Growing up, I was always incredibly confident. I knew who I was - strong, beautiful, intelligent and full of love to give. Yes, maybe a little over-confident at…

The Process of Healing

The process of healing is never simple. It’s never easy. It’s never quick. 

A dear friend of mine asked me if I’m still healing. If I still have dreams about my past relationship. If I still have flashbacks. If I…

Traits of an Abuser: Understanding Narcissism

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does…

Let's get intimate.

Over the past month, God has gently led me into a personal desert. He dried up my resources, He took away my crutches and undressed my wounds, so they were open, bleeding and bare. 

I had to sit before Him…

Colors of Abuse: Physical and Verbal

As I sit, trying to somber myself to write this last chapter of my Colors of Abuse series, I am unable to stay serious. Instead I am overflowing with joy and gladness of spirit, knowing that God is working out…

Colors of Abuse: Psychological

Our memories at times can be fluid and fickle. We remember some memories from our childhoods like vivid dreams, but often times we can’t remember what movie we watched last Friday night. This potentially flighty nature makes our memories easy…

Colors of Abuse: Emotional

Our emotions are precious and sacred things. They are holy landmarks, revealing to us the inner workings of our souls. Joy reveals congruity with the Holy Spirit. Anger reveals injustice. Sadness reveals loss. Peace reveals trust. 

Emotions are fluid, moving…

Colors of Abuse: The Pillars of Personhood

We see it everywhere we go. Men and women have these subconscious tactics of control, ways to get exactly what they want from the people they want it from. Of course, not all are harmful - a warm smile for…

How do we talk about sex?

If you’ve been following my journey through my last two blog posts, you’ll see that I’ve identified two issues that create conflict in romantic relationships: the expectation of sex and the influence of power. My plea at the end of…

The Expectation of Sex: Power Plays

Last week I wrote the first installment in the Expectation of Sex series in which I discussed the issue of expectation in the context of sexual misconduct and shared my own personal experience. Since that post, even more accusations of…